It's Not MY Fault You're An Idiot
Someone, anyone, I beg of you, please explain this to me:
"My fiance-to-be."
.......what?
How EXACTLY is someone a "fiance-to-be"? Is it because the person who is your "to-be" is too chicken shit to do it now? Because last time I checked there wasn't really a restriction on how long someone could be engaged. It's not like the Spanish Inquisition will come down on your head and shove a hot poker in your ass because you have been engaged longer than a year and a day.
Here are a list of possible excuses that I've come up with:
"He/She/It/They (if you're Mormon) can't afford a ring right now." ....and your point being? I'm pretty damn sure a requirement (unless you're a Housewife of Orange County) of love was not that you had to be loaded. In fact, there are plenty of people who are lower-class to poor that are absolutely in love with their partner, and they realized that they found the person who they want to be with for the rest of their life and they go without a ring; the idea that they are going to get married (once they can afford it) is good enough for them. Screw the bling.
"We don't want to get people's hopes up about the wedding" (an actual excuse that I've heard) I'm sorry, but last time I checked, it was YOUR wedding. Exactly WHOSE hopes don't you have to "get up"? Your parents? Your Aunt Mildred who lived 1,500 miles away? Shut up.
"We're still to young." Enough said.
"We're not quite ready for that." Well, obviously SOMEONE is. One of the two of you (or three, or four, again, if you're Mormon) If the idea is already in someone's head, then one of you is ready. My guess is that you're into it, and the idea scares the hell out of them.
These are just a few excuses that I can think of that people would say "fiance-to-be." Granted, there are probably more, but in reality I honestly don't care. Either it's fiance or not.
And if your excuse matches any of this, then probably not.
"My fiance-to-be."
.......what?
How EXACTLY is someone a "fiance-to-be"? Is it because the person who is your "to-be" is too chicken shit to do it now? Because last time I checked there wasn't really a restriction on how long someone could be engaged. It's not like the Spanish Inquisition will come down on your head and shove a hot poker in your ass because you have been engaged longer than a year and a day.
Here are a list of possible excuses that I've come up with:
"He/She/It/They (if you're Mormon) can't afford a ring right now." ....and your point being? I'm pretty damn sure a requirement (unless you're a Housewife of Orange County) of love was not that you had to be loaded. In fact, there are plenty of people who are lower-class to poor that are absolutely in love with their partner, and they realized that they found the person who they want to be with for the rest of their life and they go without a ring; the idea that they are going to get married (once they can afford it) is good enough for them. Screw the bling.
"We don't want to get people's hopes up about the wedding" (an actual excuse that I've heard) I'm sorry, but last time I checked, it was YOUR wedding. Exactly WHOSE hopes don't you have to "get up"? Your parents? Your Aunt Mildred who lived 1,500 miles away? Shut up.
"We're still to young." Enough said.
"We're not quite ready for that." Well, obviously SOMEONE is. One of the two of you (or three, or four, again, if you're Mormon) If the idea is already in someone's head, then one of you is ready. My guess is that you're into it, and the idea scares the hell out of them.
These are just a few excuses that I can think of that people would say "fiance-to-be." Granted, there are probably more, but in reality I honestly don't care. Either it's fiance or not.
And if your excuse matches any of this, then probably not.
Update
It's been a while since I've posted anything. I don't really think that anyone reads this anymore (or if they ever did) but I figured I would post something for the hell of it.
A lot has happened in the last couple of months. My best friend moved to NYC. She's going to grad school, and I'm ridiculously proud of her, but I miss her. A lot. I miss her at really random times, too. Times that wouldn't make sense to anyone else. I'm going to see her in March. I wish it were sooner.
I've made a few decisions that I'm happy with. I'm not discussing all of them; one however, I will. I'm dropping my minor so that I can graduate in December. Otherwise, it would be in May. Besides, no one cares about minors right? Right? ....Guys?
I'm still with my boyfriend, that's going okay. Yet I'm still..... I don't know. There are some things that I guess I'm always going to be ridiculously stupid about, no matter how much I fight it. The best thing I do is just try and ignore it.
I'm down to part time at work. I cannot begin to tell you how absolutely relieved I am about it! No more being there 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Granted, I don't have Friday and Saturday nights, and Sundays off anymore, but hey, you can't always get what you want.
I'm kind of in a weird place right now. I feel like I'm in real-life limbo. About what, I'm not sure. I'm happy (mostly) about things (mostly). I just wonder where I'm going in life. Not in an I'm-being-emo type of way, but more in a I'm-wondering-what-life-has-in-store-for-me kind of way.
It'll be interesting to see what graduation brings for me.
A lot has happened in the last couple of months. My best friend moved to NYC. She's going to grad school, and I'm ridiculously proud of her, but I miss her. A lot. I miss her at really random times, too. Times that wouldn't make sense to anyone else. I'm going to see her in March. I wish it were sooner.
I've made a few decisions that I'm happy with. I'm not discussing all of them; one however, I will. I'm dropping my minor so that I can graduate in December. Otherwise, it would be in May. Besides, no one cares about minors right? Right? ....Guys?
I'm still with my boyfriend, that's going okay. Yet I'm still..... I don't know. There are some things that I guess I'm always going to be ridiculously stupid about, no matter how much I fight it. The best thing I do is just try and ignore it.
I'm down to part time at work. I cannot begin to tell you how absolutely relieved I am about it! No more being there 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Granted, I don't have Friday and Saturday nights, and Sundays off anymore, but hey, you can't always get what you want.
I'm kind of in a weird place right now. I feel like I'm in real-life limbo. About what, I'm not sure. I'm happy (mostly) about things (mostly). I just wonder where I'm going in life. Not in an I'm-being-emo type of way, but more in a I'm-wondering-what-life-has-in-store-for-me kind of way.
It'll be interesting to see what graduation brings for me.
This Road
I find myself unable to avoid asking this question:
Is it really worth it?
Is all this work and effort and time that I've put into this really worth the bullshit that I get in return? Should I even continue it, knowing there's still so much to do, and I don't even know if I'll get anything in return? Should I continue on this road, when it's so long and lonely, and I don't know if it will ever end? This road that at first offered the opportunity of so much, and now seems so narrow?
I'm walking this road right now, and seriously contemplating turning back.
Is it really worth it?
Is all this work and effort and time that I've put into this really worth the bullshit that I get in return? Should I even continue it, knowing there's still so much to do, and I don't even know if I'll get anything in return? Should I continue on this road, when it's so long and lonely, and I don't know if it will ever end? This road that at first offered the opportunity of so much, and now seems so narrow?
I'm walking this road right now, and seriously contemplating turning back.
Regrets
There comes a point in everyone's life where you question: what if I had done this differently?
When I was 17, I told my friend Stacie "As soon as I turn 18, I'm leaving this country and moving to Ireland."
She told me that it was impossible, I didn't have the finances, it was irresponsible, etc.
But now I ask myself: what if I had?
Would I still be at this dead end job, with dead end pay, and still in school? Or would I be living large, happy, and alright with where I was?
Life is full of regrets. Anyone who says otherwise is full of shit. I regret not moving to Ireland. I regret not doing what my instincts told me to.
We have them for a reason. If we don't follow them, then what is the point?
When I was 17, I told my friend Stacie "As soon as I turn 18, I'm leaving this country and moving to Ireland."
She told me that it was impossible, I didn't have the finances, it was irresponsible, etc.
But now I ask myself: what if I had?
Would I still be at this dead end job, with dead end pay, and still in school? Or would I be living large, happy, and alright with where I was?
Life is full of regrets. Anyone who says otherwise is full of shit. I regret not moving to Ireland. I regret not doing what my instincts told me to.
We have them for a reason. If we don't follow them, then what is the point?
Why Bother When It's Boring?
Just a warning, this is an emo blog.
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.
With the communication tools available to people it's a wonder that someone can feel alone. Yet a lot of the time I feel like my identity (at least a network one) is pretty fucking useless. And it makes me realize that I'm really not an interesting person; if anything, I'm a boring one.
Really. One of the worst things is realizing that you're boring.
The fact that you tweet and no one really cares, or you write something on facebook and it's pointless, or, like I'm doing now, you write a blog and realize that NO ONE is going to read it makes me wonder why I even bother.
Of course this is just a projection of me in real life. Because in reality, your network personality is usually a lot more interesting than your actual being because everything can be fabricated.
And based on everything network wise, that is a very, very depressing thought for me.
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.
With the communication tools available to people it's a wonder that someone can feel alone. Yet a lot of the time I feel like my identity (at least a network one) is pretty fucking useless. And it makes me realize that I'm really not an interesting person; if anything, I'm a boring one.
Really. One of the worst things is realizing that you're boring.
The fact that you tweet and no one really cares, or you write something on facebook and it's pointless, or, like I'm doing now, you write a blog and realize that NO ONE is going to read it makes me wonder why I even bother.
Of course this is just a projection of me in real life. Because in reality, your network personality is usually a lot more interesting than your actual being because everything can be fabricated.
And based on everything network wise, that is a very, very depressing thought for me.
Insecurities
Insecurities can be funny things. It probably doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that I'm not talking haha-I'm-laughing-and-full-of-joy funny, but I-can't-believe-this-is-happening funny. The kind of funny that when you think about it a year from that moment, you say to yourself "Really.... ice climbing?" (Thank you for that forever useful quote, Jess.) They change you, or can prevent you from growing. They make you hesitate, when action would be wiser. They put thoughts into your head that, let's face it, are most likely ridiculous and unfounded, ideas that you know rationally will never happen; but there is that little voice in your head that whispers the warnings that disaster will ensue should you stay on your path, or even entertain the notion that what you are striving for is worth it, and will come without folly. And the worst part is all these insecurities can come from the most insignificant things: a remark someone said, a quote that has nothing to do with anything serious, a look given to you by someone unimportant, or a lack of response from someone who is, in fact, important. And that's what I've noticed: insecurities come a lot of the time from the actions of others. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that others' are responsible for the way that I infer things, but they sure don't help. I know, I know, take responsibility for yourself, and all that bullshit. Yet, when you don't get certain responses or reactions that you expect, and this happens on a constant basis, you start to doubt yourself. Is there something wrong with me? Is there something that just turns me off to the other person? (I don't mean in a "you don't want to bang me" turn me off, just in a general "you aren't important so I'm turned off to your actions" kind of way.)
Recently someone asked me "What happened to the girl I knew?" The funny thing is, I'm still the girl that everyone knew; I actually haven't changed. There comes a point where you start to know someone better, and you realize that they might not be everything you cracked them up to be. But that doesn't mean that they have changed: you just become aware more of who they are, and everything that that means.
One thing about knowing me better is I'm ridiculously insecure. Who, me? Lawl. Yeah, I'm fantastic at putting up this front that I'm sarcastic and can take whatever and don't put up with bullshit. And it's true, I don't. But that doesn't mean I'm infalliable. It doesn't mean that I don't feel completely lame because I don't get a response or a laugh, or some other ridiculous reaction that shouldn't matter, but it does. Because as much as I would like to be that person who doesn't take shit personally, I do.
If you couldn't tell, I'm having an insecure day. Here's hoping it won't turn into an insecure night. With my luck, however, it will.
Here's to being insecure about insecurities.
Recently someone asked me "What happened to the girl I knew?" The funny thing is, I'm still the girl that everyone knew; I actually haven't changed. There comes a point where you start to know someone better, and you realize that they might not be everything you cracked them up to be. But that doesn't mean that they have changed: you just become aware more of who they are, and everything that that means.
One thing about knowing me better is I'm ridiculously insecure. Who, me? Lawl. Yeah, I'm fantastic at putting up this front that I'm sarcastic and can take whatever and don't put up with bullshit. And it's true, I don't. But that doesn't mean I'm infalliable. It doesn't mean that I don't feel completely lame because I don't get a response or a laugh, or some other ridiculous reaction that shouldn't matter, but it does. Because as much as I would like to be that person who doesn't take shit personally, I do.
If you couldn't tell, I'm having an insecure day. Here's hoping it won't turn into an insecure night. With my luck, however, it will.
Here's to being insecure about insecurities.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
