Bittersweet

Sometimes when couples have a kid, the kid comes out less than perfect. Sometimes they come out physically deformed, sometimes mentally. When a parent hears that their child isn't going to be "normal" they probably go through a wide range of emotions: anger, sadness, fear for their life and the life of their child. While they are not likely to love them any less, it can still be a burden. Working in retail I see several parents coming through with mentally handicapped children, and understandable it can be difficult to be out in public with them. I've seen parents yell, and be frustrated, and kind of be dicks about it. It's not like your child chose to be handicapped. Basically it sucks for all parties. We the employees don't know how to relate to it; the parents are embarrassed; the kids are frustrated. Lame.

However, sometimes you see truly beautiful things where it seems there is only ugliness.

Every Saturday morning, without fail, a father and his son come into the store. The son is probably 16-17, and very autistic. Every Saturday this child goes to the children's DVDs and picks out 4-5 different DVDs. However, every Saturday this kid picks out the same DVDs. Fox and the Hound, Pixar Short Films, a couple Sesame Street DVDs. Same DVDs, every time (occasionally he'll pick out a couple new ones). And the DVDs that we sell aren't cheap. They are usually at least $25, the ones that he picks out. End totals are usually close to $150, every week. You would think this would get old, and expensive, and the father would try to put an end to it, right?

Wrong.

I have never heard the father complain about purchasing the same DVDs, and only once did I hear him complain about the cost (which was near $400). When he and his son come into the section he never bitches, never acts like this isn't anything but normal, never becomes tense or angry or agitated. His son knows what he wants, and he goes and gets it. Sometimes he takes a bit longer than usual, but even then the father isn't' a jerk about it.

One time I had put all the DVDs in a bag, but apparently in the wrong order. The son had an issue with this, went and picked out 3 more of the same titles, and the father bought those as well. I was confused as to why he wanted 3 more of them, and the father, instead of being annoyed, simply told me that they were in the wrong order, and showed me how his son had originally had them. He didn't get frustrated because I didn't understand how his son worked: he simply showed me how to work with him.

The interactions between this pair are something to speak about too. The father is constantly talking to his son, and not treating him like a burden. I've never once seen the son throw a fit, or be uncomfortable, or anything that you often see with the mentally handicapped. The father always stays calm, and I think this reflects onto the son. The father is very soft spoken, and...well I could go on and on about the father, but it would just be repetitive.

I have never seen a pair like these two. The amount that this father loves his son is apparent in his interactions with him, and even with me. They come in every Saturday around 11:30-11:45, and I find myself refusing to take my lunch until I know they have been in the store. When the son comes up with the DVDs, the father always greets me and asks me how I am doing, and not in that "I'm a creepy old man and I'm going to hit on the young female cashier." He genuinely seems interested in how I'm doing. I find myself, while ringing up the DVDs, making sure that I put them in exactly the order that the son brought them up to me in. I wouldn't have done this without the dad being able to calmly tell me how to make it easier all around.

I wish that all parents with disabled children were able to love their child and be as patient with them as this man is with his own. After interacting with this man and his son, it offers you a little bit of reassurance that there are patient, good people in this world, and while they are blessed to have the children they do, the children are blessed as well.