Dreams

Let's face it, I'm a total night owl. I would rather be awake during the night than the day (except for maybe being able to go to the beach). I like the darkness, full moons, most aspects of it.

But not lately.

Lately I've been dreading them. Why? Because I just don't want to go to sleep. I don't want to fall asleep and have to dream. Dreams are supposed to be interesting, or silly, or fun, or dirty. But lately all I've been doing is having nightmares. Awful dreams about people dying, or getting fired at work, or my past mistakes coming back to haunt me. I wake up and want to vomit. It makes my stomach roll and my head hurt and makes me start the day sad.

I wish there was a way that I could just turn my subconscious off. I wish that I could tell it to stfu, because starting my days anxious and sad is becoming a routine that I just don't want to deal with. School is almost done, work is alright, my friends are awesome, my life is good.

So why does my subconscious hate me right now?